Axis Academy
by ChibiRose238
Summary: Welcome to Axis Academy, the school where each class is crazier than the next! Full summary inside... just characters as professors in a college. NOT JUST GerIta. Yaoi, not sexual. probably should be rated m for romano and Britain language.
1. Intro

**Intro**

* * *

><p>Zhe time vas vorld var von… vait. Vrong opening. Ahem- Zhe time vas the tventy first century and I found myself in vat you vould call a situation. After my time in zhe military, I moved to a deserted island. At least, zhat's vat I thought. Vhile out jogging von day, I found my brother has seized and occupied the island. Von zhing led to another and now ve have a whole freaking country! It has towns and houses and schools. and with schools, we need teachers…<p>

…I'm von of zhem….

* * *

><p>Welcome to Axis Academy, the school where each class is crazier than the next. In one room you have the psychotic anatomy teacher, in another, you'll find the sleepy gym coach! And to top it off, running the whole thing is a surprisingly ageless and extremely handsome Dean who asks that you call him 'Grandpa Rome'. Poor Ludwig seems to be the only sane person here at Axis Academy... Let's see what life has in store for him!<p>

* * *

><p>AN: Do ya like it so far? It won't be told in Luddy's voice. I actually keep reading it to myself in Narrator Lady's voice. This is a fic where almost all of the Hetalia cast are teachers. I'll probably name the characters in each chapter. The real story will start on the next chapter...

My friend and I both are writing this fic. Sarah, I'm finally getting this up!

I own nothing. If I did, all of the Hetaliacast would be naked and coupled up. Which reminds me...

Pairings! Germany/N. Italy Spain/Romano France/UK Austria/Prussia Greece/Turkey Poland/Lithuania Sweden/Finland


	2. Monday

**A/N: Woo! first actual chapter in the same night as the intro! yay!**

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><p><strong>MONDAY<strong>

Ludwig Beilschmidt glanced at the clock. Only ten more minutes until those beasts calling themselves teenagers filled his speech and debate classroom. How he hated his life. Oh well, at least Feliciano comes in late nine times out of ten. That meant that he wouldn't have to see the stupidly happy Italian until between classes. The thought made him slightly happier.

"Ve~"

Ludwig jumped, looking wide-eyed at the door. Verdammt! He came early!

Suddenly, the grumpy blond found himself being assaulted by a smiling brunette.

"I missed you over the weekend, Ludwig!"

"Get off of me!"

"Ve~, but I haven't seen you in years!"

"It vas just two days, you dummkoph!"

Then, in a severe case of bad luck, a French rapist showed up. Today wasn't Ludwig's day…

"Oh hon hon hon hon," laughed said rapist. "What do we have here? Lovebirds in violation of PDA? I'll let it slip this time since I have no right to deny anyone the sweet warm glow of _amore~"_

"Go to hell, Francypants,"an annoyed Brit said in passing.

"That is not very nice," pouted Francis.

Feliciano-still clinging to Ludwig-suddenly cowered behind the tall blond in fear. "Aah! Arthur is going to get me!"

"Oh hon hon hon hon! I'll see you two lovebirds later." At that, Francis proceeded in chasing the terrified Brit.

"Ve~ what is he doing to Arthur?"

Ludwig covered Feli's eyes and blushed. "Nothing you need to worry about. Now, go to your classroom and don't bother me!"

"I'll come sit by you at lunch! See you later, Ludwig!" Feli kissed both of his cheeks, hugged him, and skipped happily out of the classroom. A small group of students watched this exchange with smiles on their faces.

Blushing even deeper, Ludwig cleared his throat and barked out a, "get to class!" The students Ludwig laid his head on his desk, already wishing the day to be over.

~:-+-:~

"Get the bloody hell off of me, Francis! You wanker!"

Come on, _mon amour_! I need a dummy for my class!"

"Who are you calling a dummy? Stupid perverted Frog."

"Strip, dammit!"

"NO! Unhand me this instant! This is rather undignified and I refuse to strip in front of students!"

"Oh hon hon hon hon, so you wouldn't mind stripping if we were alone? My, my."

"WANKER!"

The students giggled at the strange exchange. Their incredibly French sex-ed teacher was always trying to get Mr. Kirkland to act as a live example for the class. It was always amusing to watch the Brit try to escape.

"Take it off! Take it off!" a few of the students started to chant.

"BLOODY!- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TEACHING THESE LITTLE INGRATES?" Arthur said and finally freed himself from Bonnefoy's iron grip. "Never mind. I'm going to my classroom to teach proper students proper English and not that disgusting French that you seem to believe is the language of love! Have at you!" Arthur slammed the door with a huff. Stomping down the hall, he muttered to himself, "Stupid bloody frog. Cheese-eating surrender monkey. Wanker. French pig. Downhill gardener."

Back in the classroom, Francis smiled. Arthur never did answer his question.

* * *

><p>AN: okay... it's kinda small. i think im gonna add 4 or 5 of my mini chapters on one big chapter... yeah. this is 2 of my mini chapters..

now, this should be pretty obvious, but: characters introduced in this chap- Germany/Ludwig Beilschmidt/he teaches Speech+Debate N. Italy/Feliciano Vargas/Art France/Francis Bonnefoy/Sex Ed(mwa ha ha ha ha ha... or Oh hon hon hon hon) Britain/Arthur Kirkland/English

REVIEWS FEED MY EXCITEMENT WHICH CAUSES ME TO WRITE MORE.


	3. Still Monday

okay, this is getting ridiculous... it won't frickin show that i uploaded it... i've tried to get this to work since yesterday!

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><p>Heracles day was going great, until he heard the shouting. Francis must be harassing Arthur again. They always messed with his naps.<p>

"Karpusi, get your ass up and be the fucking gym teacher you're paid to be!"

Heracles looked up from where he was basically laying on the desk/podium thingy. Seeing who was screaming at him, he laid his head back down and closed his eyes. "Fuck off, Annan." He really didn't feel like dealing with the annoying Turk.

Sadiq growled. "You mouthin' me? I could fucking beat your ass to the ground!"

"Ooh, I'm so scared," Heracles said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Sadiq dragged him up by his collar and drew back his fist, ready to beat the life from the Greek.

"YOU BETTER BE FUCKIN-"

Suddenly, something small and yellow hit Sadiq on the side of his head. 'PIYO PIYO!'

"Aww, Gillbird's cuteness just makes everyone stop fighting, no?"

Heracles and Sadiq both looked at him, both in the same position they had been in before. "Toni, what are you doing here?" Heracles asked aloud. "And why is Gillbird with you?"

"Hmm? Oh, I'm on my way to the teachers' lounge to see my little Lovino, and Gilbert didn't want Gillbird getting blown up or burned or anything, so I'm taking him to Roderich, because the little thing just seems to love him."

By that time, the Turk had released the Greek, and said Greek was asleep again.

"Aren't you supposed to be teaching a class?" Sadiq asked.

The Spaniard's eyes widened. "Si! I forgot about that. Gracias, amigo! I'll be going, now!"

The Turk watched him float down the hallway, questioning Carriedo's sanity. As soon as he turned the corner and was gone, Sadiq turned back and started yelling at the sleeping Greek once again.

~:-+-:~

Antonio skipped through the hall happily. By this time again, he had forgotten his mission and was now wandering aimlessly.

" 'h T'ni! Ah'm gl'd ah fo'nd 'ou,"said a deep voice from behind him.

The Spaniard froze, afraid to turn around. "S-si?"

"C'n ya t'ke th's to m'w'fe? He f'rgot his l'nch t'day," the voice mumbled.

"Sure! I'll get right on it!"

"Th'nks." Berwald went back to his class.

Antonio scurried off. That Berwald was certainly frightening! But he had to giggle to himself when he thought of how the large Swede called the poor little Finn his wife.

As the Spaniard was thinking, he started to wander again. What was he supposed to do again? Give Roderich his lunch? Find Tino? Hand over Gillbird to Lovi? He couldn't quite remember. Oh well.

"I wonder if they are serving tomatoes with lunch today?"

~:-+-:~

"Why won't you listen to me?" shouted Matthew Williams, the math teacher. "I told you to get out your books and turn to page 394!"

The noisy class continued to ignore the quiet teacher.

"Will you at least pretend to work?" Matthew sighed as a student turned his homework into a paper plane. "I guess I'll just give everyone an A…"

"Hey, um, who are you again?" Asked a student.

"I'm Mr. Williams, your math teacher for a whole year now…" Matthew whined.

"Oh… Whatever. I'm going to the gym to play basketball, so… bye."

"Well, at least he asked me," the poor Canadian mumbled.

~:-+-:~

*BONG BONG BONG*

"And that, students, is my example poem about France and my feeling towards it," Arthur Kirkland read aloud to his class.

"But… all it was about was how much you hate Mr. Bonnefoy, and how he's 'a vile wanker sent straight from hell just to torture poor Brits like yourself…"

"Yes, and?"

*BONG BONG*

"BLOODY," Arthur crossed the room and opened the window. "Damn it all, Ms. Ukraine! Stop that blasted booby bouncing!"

Ms. Ukraine turned around to face him. "I'm sorry," she called. "I can't help it! I'm just walking to my classroom!" with that, she turned back around and fled to her room crying.

*BONG BOng Bong bong*

After reclosing the window, Arthur turned back to his class. "Alright, your poems on your feelings toward France and it's disgusting vile inhabitants are due Monday at the beginning of the hour. Carry on."

Not ten seconds later, the bell rang.

"How the hell does he DO that?" a student asked as they all hurried out of class.

Her friend shrugged, "Mr. Kirkland believes in magic."

* * *

><p>AN: Berwald is difficult to write. And to understand… soo… Berwald translations:

"Ah, Toni! I'm glad I found you."

"Can you take this to my wife? He forgot his lunch today."

"Thanks"

Characters introduced in this chapter: Greece/Heracles Karpusi/Gym coach (why? Because it's ironic. Lol. And he would be our dream coach.) Turkey/Sadiq Annan/Football Coach Spain/Antonio Carriedo/Agriculture S. Italy/Lovino Vargas/Detention-Bad Kid Room Austria/Roderich Edelstein/Orchestra-Choir Sweden/Berwald Oxenstierna/Architectural Design Finland/Tino/Geometry Ukraine/Elena Ukraine/Band(we couldn't actually find her human name, and her being band teacher is just plain funny BONG BONG BONG BONG)

Anyhoo, this is the majority of what we've written, so it might take a little longer on the next chapter. Sorry. Reviews help feed our imagination. Oh, and if you want, you can throw in ideas for what to happen next! They help us write more, and faster.


	4. Again Still Monday

BLEH. this is the majority of what we've written so far. enjoy~ oh, and i feel bad, but... i forgot to add Canada in my last character list soo... Canada/Matthew Williams/Math

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><p>Mr. Edelstein was halfway through his lesson when he heard the booby bouncing. Damn that woman and her enormous tits. And they HAD to make the band room next to the choir. He couldn't concentrate on his students when that obnoxious sound filled his room.<p>

*BONG BONG*

His fingers hit the keys of his piano in a harsh disarray, voicing his agitation.

"Um… Mr. Edelstein, sorry to bother you when you're all angry, but someone's at the door," a student mumbled.

"Oh, it must be Mr. Carriedo with Gillbird. Let him in."

The Spaniard (who finally remembered one of his missions) waltzed into the room and plopped Gillbird on Roderich's head. Then he turned and skipped back out as quickly as he came in.

Roderich stared at the door, confused. Toni would normally engage in a long and meaningless conversation about Lovino and how much he loves life in general. "Whatever… Okay, class. We will now begin the lesson."

His students giggled. Did their aristocratic teacher forget that a bird was in his hair? Or did he just not care? Should they say something?

"What are you laughing at?" Roderich reached up to pet the ball of feathers in his hair, which silenced the students immediately. _Stupid bird_, he thought. It just had to be so damn cute, which made him drop his dignified act and properness. In all fairness, he loved the bird. Almost as much as he loved the man who owned it. But, of course, he would never tell _him_ that, as the albino would most likely poke fun at him and laugh.

No, he had decided a while ago that he would just love him silently.

"Okay, we will start on measure 28 of this sheet music. Follow me on the piano."

~:-+-:~

"Okay, so, like, this dress is totally supercute!" Feliks exclaimed. "Like, who did you design it for?"

"Um… for myself, Mr. Feliks."

"I'm impressed. It's super-supercute, but you're like, waaay too fat to pull _that_ off, sweetie!"

"W-what?"

"Truth hurts, girl. Someone woulda said it eventually!"

"FELIKS!" exclaimed the student teacher. "This is fashion design! They should be able to express themselves in their own -"

"Wow, Toris. Your outfit is horrible! You should look in the mirror before you leave in the morning. Lol."

~:-+-:~

"Okay, class. Today you'll learn what happens when you break someone's neck. It's very interesting, Da?"

The students shivered. Ivan Braginski was, by far, the creepiest teacher they've ever met.

"Yes, it's _very_ interesting, big brother! Teach us more," said a voice in the shadows.

Now it was Ivan's turn to shiver. His sister/stalker was his student teacher, and he couldn't think of anything worse that could possibly happen to him. He knew that he terrified the students, which was okay, because it meant that they would be good and do their work for fear of being tortured or murdered or something similar. But his sister, Natalia, scared even him. Her kind of creepy was ten times worse than his kind of creepy.

"Yes, well, um, Natalia, why don't you get the frogs from the shelf? And make sure that they're fresh!"

"Anything for you, brother!"

Ivan shuddered again. "Well, that's nice -"

"Now all I need is for you to marry me and then I'll take care of you forever and ever!" she steadily inched closer to him.

This was going to be a long year for poor Mr. Braginski.

~:-+-:~

Gilbert Beilschmidt snickered to himself as he watched Ivan run from his half-sister. _He_ asked Herr Rome to let Natalia student teach, and _he_ was the one who pushed her to apply. All just to see the scary Russian in tears.

"Hehehe. I am awesome!" he snickered again as he turned from the door into which he was peeking. "Now, time to find Gillbird and get lunch."

Gilbert toddled off down the hall to find his beloved bird… And his beloved Austrian.

_I wonder if he made me lunch again?_ he thought. _He makes the best desserts._

As he walked down the hall, his stomach growled. "This is so not awesome!" Stumbling around in search of the music room, he called out pitifully, "ROOODDY! Where are you?"

Eventually giving up (his stomach winning the fight over priority), Gilbert headed to the cafeteria.

When he arrived, the Prussian did a quick scan to see where his Austrian friend was. Spotting him (with Gillbird still atop his head), Gilbert grinned. Roddy was seated at the head tables reserved for teachers, and he had two paper bags with him, one of which he was pulling grapes out of, putting them one by one into his mouth, delicate pink tongue popping out occasionally to catch the next one.

Blushing, Gilbert shoved the image to the back of his mind. He was acting like a schoolboy with a crush!

"Hey Roddy! That lunch for me?"

The Austrian rolled his eyes. "No, I believe I brought it for Vash."

"But Vash already has a lunch," Gilbert whined.

"Ah, I see. Well, I bet your bruder is hungry, seeing as he works much harder than yourself. I'll just give it to him."

"But Roddy! I'm starving! Please?"

"Fine." Roderich handed the unopened bag to him, then reached up to detach the still-sleeping bird from his hair. It didn't seem fazed by being moved at all. "Take your bird back."

"Haha! You have feathers in your hair!" Gilbert started pulling feathers, grinning.

Roderich blushed as Gilbert's pale fingers worked to remove the last of the feathers and smooth the now ruffled hair down.

Still grinning like a madman, Gilbert grabbed at the bag Roderich had scooted to him and dispelled its contents onto the table.

"Roddy, you're so awesome!" the Prussian proclaimed as he stared down at his fancy meal. "Well, not as awesome as me, of course. But-"

"Just shut up and eat, before I _do_ give it to Vash," said the Austrian.

They enjoyed the rest of their meal in silence, each wishing for the other's love.

~:-+-:~

"God damn it! Why do you fucking assholes have to be so damn loud, eh? Bastard children sent strait from hell to be fucking loud and obnoxious. You are all almost as bad as that stupid Spanish tomato bastard Carriedo. FUCK!"

"Calm down, Mr. Lovi. Why don't you tell us why you're so upset?"

The detention room was quickly becoming a therapy session for poor little Lovino Vargas, the detention advisor.

"That stupid bastardo tried to jump me today," said Lovino, lying in his chair as the three mock therapists sat around him.

"Um… Is 'bastardo' a word?"

"FUCKING LET ME FINISH!"

"Yes, sir."

"So, anyways, he jumps me, and he wouldn't fucking let go! Then the tomato bastard started _serenading _me of all things. Then he told me I was CUTE!"

"And… That's a problem, sir?"

"DAMMIT, I'M NOT CUTE! I'M A MAN!"

"Sorry, sir. It's just… Well… Mr. Vargas was calling Mr. Beilschmidt cute earlier and-"

"I fucking know! And I don't like it! The damn potato bastard's twisting my brother's head around and Feli doesn't even realize it!" the angry Italian continued to rant as the three students looked at each other strangely.

"Potato bastard? Is that supposed to be Mr. Beilschmidt?" One asked questioningly.

"Where does he learn some of these words? Should we be worried that his vocabulary's getting bigger and more… colorful?" The second shook her head.

The third student just sat quietly patting their advisor on the head.

"I hate my fucking life…."

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><p>AN:I kinda made Austria's chapter depressing... TT_TT well, anyways, this is a change from what i normally READ, because Prussia normally has to MAKE Austria fall in love... so... yeah.

POLAND ANNOYS THE HELL OUTTA ME. 'nuff said.

Russia scares the shit outta me (bot belarus scares me even more) ^J^

PRUSSIA! naughty! stop thinking creepy things about poor mr. austria! **squee**

Romano is romano... because of him, my favorite way to insult people is by calling them tomato bastard.

next chapter will hopefully be soon... i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoy writing this. I OWN NOTHING!

reviews help us keep our sanity. why write if we cant get your opinion?


	5. I think Im gonna stop naming my chapters

"AND THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD SHUT UP AND DO YOUR WORK!" Mr. Beilschmidt yelled, finishing his rant to the student who had the misfortune of losing his homework.

"B-b-but sir, I did do my homework, I just los-"

"NEIN! That is unacceptable!"

To add to Mr. Beilschmidt's stress, a certain hyper Italian burst through the door. "Ve~ Ludwig! I came to see you! I asked Lizzy to make pasta with me, and Francis said that we should make it in the shape of your anatomy… That's gonna be a BIIIIG pasta, right, Ludwig?"

Ludwig turned bright red as the class burst into uncontrollable laughter. Various comments such as "Wow, so it's big, huh?" could be heard throughout the room.

A blushing female student giggled. "Mr. Vargas, how would you know it's big?"

Another shouted, "Yeah! I thought you were supposed to be innocent!"

"Ve~ By the way… Ludwig, what's anatomy?" The whole class facepalmed, including Ludwig. "I took it in high school one year, but it made me sleepy so I slept. A lot."

"Feli, you dumpkomph! What are you doing here anyways? I have a class to teach!"

"I wanted to see you, Ludwig! It's been such a long time since I last saw you!" Feli snuggled into Ludwig's side.

Said German blushed, "You just saw me twenty minutes ago…"

"Ve~ Ludwig! I have a great idea! Let me help you teach the class! PLEEAAASE?"

"Fine, but only for today," Ludwig said, not wishing to start a useless argument.

"Yay! Today I'll tell you all the best ways to make pasta! Oh, but there are so many…"

Ludwig sighed as he popped a few Excedrin into his mouth. He was going to need it.

~:-+-:~

"Okay class today we discuss totalitarian government. Seem simple enough. China take all," said the small Chinese boy/girl(no one really knew) to its class.

Suddenly, a dark aura seeped through the classroom, chilling the students to the bone.

"Yao, you missed me, da?"

Yao shuddered, "Don't you have class? Leave now!"

"Now, why would I do that? ^J^ Little Ravis called in sick today so I needed someone to play with." Ivan smiled creepily.

"I-I suppose… But why are you here?"

"I came to see if you wanted to watch Arthur and Francis fight to the death after school is over."

"That sound oddly appealing… What if I say no?"

"Then I stay forever! ^J^"

"Fine, I'll go."

Just as things began to get awkward, a familiar voice was heard in the hall. "Big brother… I know you're in there! Don't hide from meeeee!" a creepy voice rang out.

Without hesitation, Ivan ran to the window and jumped.

Wide-eyed, Yao ran to the window and looked out. Ivan was far off into the distance, running. "How the hell he do that? This is third floor!"

"Big Brother…" Natalia kicked down the door. "I've come for you! Where are you? Come on, marry me….." She glanced at Yao menacingly.

Yao, in turn, pointed at the window. "He went that way."

Not a second later, Natalia dived out of the window after her beloved.

"What the hell? This school filled with freaks!"

~:-+-:~

"Mr. Honda! Tell Kyle that he was wrong to call me that!"

"Stupid Bi- I didn't say anything!"

"Mr. Honda!"

Kiku Honda shrank back in his seat. "This is why I sense the mood and refrain from speaking…"

The whole ordeal had started when Kyle and Maggie had tried to take the same seat. Kyle called her fat and it just went downhill from there.

"It's not my fault that you're a FAT COW!"

"You- you DICK!" The two started throwing things, staplers, hole punchers, fists.

"Maybe I should call Rome-san," the Japanese man said, inching sneakily towards the school phone.

"DID SOMEONE CALL MY NAME!" Suddenly, a tall, handsome man appeared between the fighting students. The two jumped back in surprise.

"Ah, Rome-san. I'm glad you're here."

"Ahahahaha! Actually, I came here because I was looking for my cute little grandson. I miss his hugs."

"Um… Mr. Vargas should be in the art room. That IS his class, after all…" Kiku was confused as to WHY this man was in charge. He was clearly insane.

Roma just smiled, and about five seconds later, Kiku found himself being hugged tightly by a hyper Italian.

"Ve~ Kiku, I haven't hugged you today!"

"Please stop touching me."

"But you looked like you needed a big hug! Hugging is good for the heart, you know."

"That's very well and all, but you invade my personal space!"

The peppy brunette finally noticed his Grandfather/boss, who was standing to the side, smiling. "Ve~ Grandpa Rome!""

The two started giggling and chatting like two old ladies catching up.

_Why are these people so weird?_ Kiku thought to himself.

The Italian's reunion was interrupted as a VERY angry German stormed into the room. "Feliciano! Why is your class roaming the hallway like brainless morons?"

"Well, I wanted to see Grandpa, so I gave them a break~."

"UNACCEPTABLE!"

Feliciano began to pout and refused to go back to his class, so Ludwig did what ANY reasonable teacher would do…

He threw the pasta freak over his shoulder and carried him back, leaving the students to wonder why they had such crazy teachers.

~:-+-:~

"Ludwig! Come on, let me go back to Grandpa! Please!"

"Nein. You are going to go collect your students and actually teach for once instead of dumping them on me! You are so irresponsible- Mein gott, act your age!"

Feliciano became silent as Ludwig walked along for a few minutes. Ludwig could hear faint sniffling noises coming from the unusually quiet brunette. "Feli…?"

"Wah! I'm so sorry, Ludwig," he cried. "I didn't mean to make you mad! Please don't hate me! Please!"

Ludwig sat the bawling Italian on the ground and wiled his eyes softly. "I don't hate you… just your scatterbrained actions."

"Really? Yay, I'm so happy!"

"Ja, ja. Just get to class, okay?"

"Ve~ Of course, Ludwig! " The Italian started to skip off, happy that he avoided the wrath of the angry German.

Just then, the bell rang. Feli turned around with a huge smile. "Ve~ Hey, Ludwig! It's my free period this hour! I can hang with you now!"

_Scheiße_, Ludwig thought as me facepalmed. He was definitely going to need some more Excedrin.

~:-+-:~

"Ohonhonhonhon! Cher, why do you not eat some of the lunch_ I _made you? Instead of that disgusting English CRAP you are shoveling into your mouth? Mon ami, that has GOT to be bad for you!"

"Bugger off, Francis."

"But_ Sourcils_, I care about your health! ... Just wondering, but... Why do you eat lunch in your room?"

"Because I want to, Frog, and because my faerie friends don't like the cafeteria." Arthur blushed. Damnit! He hadn't meant to say that. Flying Mint Bunny and Tinker Bell were supposed to be a secret. He didn't want to be admitted to the loony bin again! He went back to his lunch.

"Hmm... well, I don't want you to eat alone, mon lapin, so I guess I'll just have to eat with you." Francis sat down in a desk and opened his lunch.

"Damn it all, Francis. I'm not alone!"

"That's right, you have me to keep you company!"

Poor Arthur was never going to get rid of the annoying Frenchman.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Kay... So... Sorry I took so long to upload. This is the part where I tell all of my excuses for this being SOOO LATE!**

**1)Last few weeks of school/ Finals**

**2)I type REAAAAALLY slow**

**3)... I have no three. I was just busy.**

**On another note, I have the next chapter mostly written(just not typed) and I have all summer break now to write and write and write... Until I get a job :(**

**Please Review, or I might stop writing this. I feel like no one cares about this fic. And I would really like you to give your opinion on what happens next! **


	6. Yep, gonna stop naming these

**THIS CHAPTER WAS SO FUN TO WRITE~ ENJOY!**

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><p>"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE HERO HAS FINALLY ARRIVED! DID EVERYONE MISS ME OVER THE WEEKEND?"<p>

"Mr. Jones… You're thirty minutes late… for third hour," A student said.

"Really? Wow. I got so caught up at McDonalds I didn't even notice the time!"

"What the hell were you doing at McDonalds that took you two and a half hours?" Another student asked.

"Buying my lunch, of course." He picked up a bulging bag. "See! I've got a few cheeseburgers, a ton of fries, a couple of milkshakes, about ten big macs…"

"Mr. Jones, you're gonna get fat."

"Of course I'm not gonna get fat- I totally have a diet soda to balance it all out."

The students looked at each other. "I don't think it works that way…" "Is he insane?" "Is this mechanics, or am I in the wrong class again?" "-The fuck?" "Ooh, hamburger!"

"Hahaha, 'kay anyways!-" Jones pulls out a big mac and takes a huge bite. "So, today-," *chew* "We're gon ta lern" *swallow, bite again* "'Ow ta make ah schmall clock. Fihrs,…" Alfred swallowed and started to take another bite.

"Um, Mr. Jones… we can't understand a word you're saying. Can you NOT eat while you're teaching?"

"Sure thing, dudes," Alfred said. Then he grabbed for a shake. "So-"*slurp* "To make this" *slurp* "clock" *sluuuuuurp* "Ya need to…"

The class could already tell that this was to be a long and tiring sixty minutes.

~:-+-:~

"Um… I hate to be a bother but could you please turn in your work like I said?" pleaded Mr. Williams.

"Dude, where's the teacher? Did he just abandon us?"

…

"I'm right here…"

~:-+-:~

Tino was in the middle of a lecture with his well-behaved, yet talkative class, when a giant angry looking Swede walked into the room. The entire class got quiet after a few high pitched squeals from the two fangirls in the back.

Tino forced a smile," H-hi Berwald. Um… what brings you here today?"

Berwald was silent.

"Do you n-need an extra ruler or something?"

Berwald still was quiet. There was an awkward silence within the whole classroom until the Swede pulled the little Fin into a hug. "Ah missed m'wife," Berwald mumbled into his shoulder.

"Awwww~," squealed some of the girls. "He's so sweet!"

"He scares me…" mumbled a boy, earning and agreeing nod from a few beside him.

"Um… Not to be unreasonable or anything, but could you let me go, please? I have to teach." Tino squeaked nervously. Berwald just pulled the little Finn closer.

It would be another two hours before Tino could get the Swede off of him and back into his own classroom.

~:-+-:~

"Like, OMG! Is this skirt, like, hot or what?" Feliks twittered, spinning around to model said article of clothing.

Toris blushed. "I- It looks okay… But you shouldn't wear the student's clothing. It's for them to wear. Besides, you could get in trouble for wearing a skirt at school. You're a guy!"

"Chill out, Toris. I swear, like, you're the biggest worry-wart. Totally!" Feliks huffed and turned to the owner of the skirt. "Can I, like, buy this from you? I totally like the look on Toris's face when I wear this. Supercute! Like, you make the best clothing!"

"That's not fair to the other students, Feliks." That resulted in the rest of the class voicing their opinion of their teacher's favoritism.

"All this negativity is, like, bad for my health," Feliks said with a frown. Suddenly, a brilliant idea popped into his head. "Okay, so I have, like, a fantabulous idea. I'll give everyone, like, an A on the next performance test IF YOU CAN GET TORIS INTO A DRESS. Made, of course, like, by you all. And the dress, like, has to be, like, supercute fabulousness. 'Kay?"

The class immediately got to work designing the new torture device for the poor Lithuanian man. If Toris didn't hate his Polish friend before, he sure did now.

~:-+-:~

Pulling the last graduated cylinder out of a cabinet, Mr. Beilschmidt turned to his class. "Today, mein awesome _lieblings_, we are going to mix chemicals."

"What reactions are we going to be looking for, Sir?" A student asked.

"Um… I don't know, I just feel like mixing chemicals. How about… The first student to make something explode gets bonus on their next test?" Gilbert nodded to himself. There, now they had a reason. "One of you, get the goggles out. Kesesesese, this is gonna be AWESOME!"

…

"Mr. Beilschmidt? Uh, isn't that dangerous?" a few students backed up from the table they were all huddled around, staring warily at the concoction their insane teacher had created. It had gone from a soft green to a bright, blood red color, and was now starting to bubble violently. You could _see_ the fumes across the room.

"Nah, of course not. Just… Don't touch it or swallow it or breathe it in…."

The rest of the class started to back away now.

"Holy shit, it's gonna blow! Everyone, OUTSIDE!" With a wild grin, the Prussian man grabbed his phone and started to take pictures of the mess he created. "This is so-" Gilbert watched in surprise as a feathered yellow ball flew strait into the experiment from hell. As it passed the wall of fumes, it shuddered and dropped towards the contaminated table. "UNAWESOME! Shit! Gillbird, can you hear me?" He seized the bird and barreled out of the room, closing the door behind him. "One of you, go get help!"

As luck would have it, Francis had come by to check on his unruly friend. "Mon ami, are you okay? I heard shouting."

"Oh GOTT, Franny. I'm glad you're here. We were mixing chemicals and the frigging thing exploded. Now Gillbird is hurt!"

Francis looked at his friend strangely. Didn't Monsieur Rome JUST tell him to never mix chemicals EVER AGAIN? "Cher, you're going to end up without a job if you continue this foolishness. How is getting fired going to impress your little Austrian? It won't. He'll never want to date a bum who couldn't keep a job…"

Wait, was Francis _lecturing_ the albino? That was odd. Normally he would help the Prussian hide all of the evidence of his mistakes and agree to never speak of it again. Hell, he was usually helping Gilbert MAKE the mistakes. The albino started to tear up a little. He wasn't used to his best friend being so harsh to him.

Francis noticed this, and handed him a tissue. "Here, I'll help you clean it up. Monsieur Rome won't even know it happened. But first we need to take your cute little pet down to the nurse. Students, you can go to my classroom for the rest of the hour. And if anyone asks, this never happened, oui?"

The kids all nodded and headed to the sex-ed room quietly.

"Sorry Francis. I-"

"No need, cher. Just help me clean this up and we can forget the whole thing happened. I'll just call Antoine over and we can do it together, okay?"

The Prussian nodded. Gilbert knew he was lucky to have friends like his.

~:-+-:~

"Lovi~"

"Hell, now I'm hearing him call my name. How fucking paranoid am I?" The tired little Italian looked at his students-turned-therapists for an answer.

"Oh, Lovi~"

"What the balls is wrong with me?"

"Nothing, Sir. We hear it too."

Lovino jumped out of his seat after he heard that. "Shit. That means he's actually coming!" He tried to find a place to hide, then tried throwing himself out the window, failing only because his students had dragged him back inside before he could jump.

The door burst open right as the students finally got the cussing Italian into a seat. "Lovi~ I found you! Oh, I have something for you! Guess what it is? A tomato for mi tomate!"

"I'm not your damn tomato, bastardo."

"So cute~ When your face gets all red like that, it looks like a tomato~"

"Grr. Stupid tomato bast-" Lovino was cut off by a giant hug.

"So cute~ so cute~" Antonio cooed and began petting the Italian's hair.

"Dammit, I'm not cute! Get off me, fucktard!" He looked at the students. "Help me!"

The teens in question were trying to hold in their laughter as their sailor-mouthed teacher was treated like a baby. "Sorry, Mr. Vargas. It's just-" they all broke out in uncontrolled laughter.

"Damn you all. Straight to Hell. FUCK!" he began to rant.

Antonio, oblivious to all of the commotion, had set his eyes on something. Lovino had warned him never to do it, but… It was so tempting. That curl. What was so special about it? He tugged on it softly.

"_Fuuuuuuck…_"Lovino moaned. He stopped thrashing in the Spaniard's hold and became completely still, and a large blush had spread all the way over his face and neck.

Well that was new, Antonio thought to himself. The students quieted their laughter, watching their now strangely docile teacher with wide eyes.

Lovino suddenly twitched away from the Spaniard and jolted out of the room, leaving Antonio and the teens wondering what the hell just happened.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** AWW, Francis, being a good friend :3. For that you just might get a whole scene with Arthur aaall by yourselves ;). AND THE CURL THING- I HAD TO DO IT! Sorry if you don't like it. Oh, and the fangirls in Finland's class... well, lets just say it might probably is the two girls writing this fic.

I love you all so much~! T.T Thanks for making me feel worthwhile. When you review, it makes me want to write more just to make you happy!

BTW, sorry for taking a month to get this up. Um… I found a deep love for Skyrim and couldn't stop playing. I also type REEEAAALLY slow, and I try to use good grammar and spelling and stuff(Excepting for when the characters talk), so it takes a while for me to finish.

Remember, review and give ideas! Heaven knows we need them.

Oh, and just a heads up- with the way this is being written, I don't think there's ever going to be a real end. There's no plot and it's as random as surprise buttsex. So even if I want it to end, I highly doubt it will…


	7. Chapter 7

**REVIEW PLZ~ Any kind of review is welcomed, feel free to tell me if I'm doing something wrong. Or feel free to tell me you love it and that it's the best in the world. ^J^**

"Alright, dudes. Any question?" Alfred F. Jones looked to the raised hands and called on one of them.

Unnoticed, a small, quiet Canadian slipped into the room. "Um, Alfred? I needed to talk to you."

"What?" A student started to argue with him about how a different part would work better on the project than the ones he had given them.

"Well, I just… was wondering… if maybe you could quiet down a little, eh? I can hear you yelling from my classroom, and I can't really get stuff done…" Matthew fidgeted. He hated getting into confrontations. And what if the obnoxious American yells at him for complaining?

"Are you done whining? I do believe that I have more authority than you, so I can do what I want!" The American in question said triumphantly, slamming his hand on the student's desk.

"N-n-nevermind then."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Alfred moved to another desk.

"Um, hey, so anyway, I got your message aboot the fight. You wanted to know who would be there, right? I know Roderich won't, he felt dizzy and went home to rest. Neither will Feliciano, but I hear he's placing a bet on Francis winning. Mostly because he is terrified of Arthur. Oh, and neither will-"

"Sounds good. Keep up the good work, dude!" Jones started to walk to the next desk, but turned around as a student pointed behind him. "Mattie? When did you get here?" Alfred asked, quite surprised.

"And I thought it would be a good idea to- Huh?! I-I've been here the entire time! Haven't you been listening?" The poor Canadian sighed. Was he really going to have to repeat all that? "Nevermind. I'll tell you later…"

With that, Matthew Williams returned to his classroom, realizing that no one noticed that he had even left it.

~:-+-:~

"Ve~ ve~ how are you today? Did you miss me over the weekend? Is there pasta in that pot? 'Cause that would be really cool if it did!"

A pretty Hungarian woman looked up from the aforementioned pot and smiled. "Oh, hello Feli! I had a feeling you'd be here soon, so I'm making something I know you'll love!"

"Ravioli?"

"No."

"Fettuccini?"

"… No," Elizaveta laughed. "I decided I'd pull out a couple of old cookbooks for the class to experiment with, and I found one that you and Lovino gave me. This was circled-'_Rigatoni with Winter Tomato sauce._' I just know you did it."

"Ve~? I didn't do it. I think… Oh yeah! Lovino marked it, because out of all the dishes he made for dinner, Antonio liked that one best! It was when Lovi was in cooking school. He and Antonio were in the same college and lived on the same street. They would walk home together, and sometimes Toni would invite himself over for dinner." The little Italian sat down at one of the tables.

"Oh, how cute! But, I didn't know that Lovino was in cooking school… Why is he the detention advisor now? Why didn't he make a living cooking in his own restaurant?" Elizaveta asked after putting the finished pasta expertly on a plate and handing it to Feli.

"Yum~! Well, Lovi was going to open his own business, but Antonio heard about this school from Gilbert and Francis and he really wanted to do a teaching job, but he didn't want _fratello_ to be so far away. So Toni convinced him to come teach with us!" The brunette said with a smile as he handed the now empty plate back to his friend. "Delicious! You know what would have gone great with this? Some nice wine. Ve~ maybe I'll stop by Francis's room next!"

Lizzy looked at him for a long moment, and then pulled out a big frying pan out of the closest cabinet. "If you're going to that creep's classroom alone, then at least take some protection. If he tries something, hit him with this. That also goes for Matthias, Ivan, and Gilbert." She handed the kitchen weapon to him, smiling. "Especially Gilbert. Nothing but a Frenchman is worse than a perverted German. Speaking of Germans, how are things going with Luddy?"

The Italian took the pan, frowning. What did she mean 'try anything'? "Fine, I guess, ve~. He apologized right after yelling at me earlier, and he let me hug him for longer than ten seconds! I think that's an improvement!"

"Yes, it is! Not much, though. Anyway, I have a class to watch. Come back next time you get hungry, dear! And tell Lovino that he's welcome any time, as well!"

"Haha, you said hungry. It's funny because you're from Hungary!" Feliciano hugged her and kissed her cheeks. "Well, ciao, everyone!" He waved as he left.

_What doesn't Ludwig see in that little cutie? _Elizaveta thought. _He's so bright and cheerful, and he always knows how to make the best out of the WORST situations! Sure, maybe he's a bit of a ditz, but who isn't every once in a while?..._

"Ms. Hedervary! The pot is boiling over!"

_Guess I'll have to think about this later._

~:-+-:~

It was sixth hour and the whole of the Advanced English 2 class was wondering where their eccentric teacher was. It was strange for him to be late, as the man was almost as strict as their German professor.

"Sorry, class. I'm afraid I got sidetracked in the teacher's lounge. Jane Eyre is such a marvelous book; I recommend that you all read it."

What. The. Hell. Was their teacher wearing a cloak? And was that a wand he was holding in his hand?

"Um… Mr. Kirkland, you sure look… different today."

"You noticed! Yes, today is a special day, students. Today is the day that you each get sorted into your newly assigned seats that will last you until the end of the semester. There will be four houses, and they will be evenly divided into two rows per house. I will call your name; you will sit in this chair. Then I will assign your house and you shall sit anywhere you like in the allotted area. Sound fair?" The British man had started to unconsciously wave his wand as he spoke, as if it were a pointer. "And there shall be no troublemaking, or I shall have to beat you to a violent bloody death with my Firebolt."

The students watched as the Brit pulled out a long scroll of parchment paper from under the podium. He unrolled it, picked up a school cap, and began the strange ritual. "Rose Weathers." The girl in question stood timidly and walked up to the chair. As soon as she sat, Arthur placed the cap upon her head.

"Huffflepuff!" Mr. Kirkland suddenly shouted, scaring everyone in the room. He took the hat off of the girl and pointed to the far right of the room. "Go sit somewhere over there. Next, Beth Patrick."

After sorting the last student, Mr. Kirkland looked at the clock. "Oh, good heavens. Look at the time! I'd better give out my assignment now. I want you all to read the first ten chapters of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and write a summary on it. This is due on Wednesday, so you have two days to work on it. I'll give you tomorrow in class to read it. You will find the book under your desks. If I catch you not reading for the remainder of the hour today, I will cut out your eyes, bludgeon you with a rusty mace, and then hand you off to Francis to be used as a Sex-Ed dummy. Any questions? Good. Now get reading."

Most of the students opened their books and pretended to read to avoid the overly exaggerated punishment. Occasionally, they would glance over at their professor, who had started drawing massive transmutation circles on all of the boards.

"Mr. Kirkland, what are you doing? You're not trying to summon a demon again, are you? Remember what happened last time?" A student timidly asked after a few minutes.

"I bloody well remember what happened, and I don't wish to recount it again, thank you very much. And this is just to ward off that pervert next door. I keep having this odd feeling that someone slimy is watching me… So, as a precaution, I'm making these."

"Um…." The bell rang and the students left to their next class, feeling quite confused.

~:-+-:~

"And then he kissed me~! It was so wonderful! Oh, Francis, I'm in love!"

"Dude, chill. You've told us this little dream five hundred times already. No one really cares, Toni." Gilbert said, kicking his feet up onto the large desk.

"Now, now, Gillyweed, don't be so harsh. We all know you'd be the same about your little Austrian if your pride would allow it." Francis locked the door and flung himself onto the couch. "Now, I think we have about two hours before Monsieur Rome notices we're missing."

Gilbert snorted. "Yeah, right. That crazy old coot would probably forget his head if it wasn't attached. And what the hell is a gillyweed?"

"Ah, sorry. Arthur has been hitting the Harry Potter a little hard lately, and it's kind of wearing off on me."

"Still doesn't explain what a gillyweed is…"

"I don't even know," said the blond. "Something dorky."

The three men looked at each other for a moment and burst out laughing.

* * *

><p>Poor Canada (who?)<p>

Ah Romano, just admit you love him, already! Also, the recipe that was circled is actually a delicious pasta I found in my Pasta Bible. My mom got it for me for Christmas, lol. She knows I'm secretly Romano. And Ms. Hungary is finally introduced in this chapter! Well, I mentioned her earlier, but she finally gets to say something!

WOO. Britain gets a chapter by himself, for once. I'm a total Harry Potter fan, so I had fun with this one. And the "You noticed!"- well, I hear Tamaki from Host Club when I reread it in my mind… And Jane Eyre is totally amazing. It's one of my favorite books. And that chair… well, I was very tempted to call it Busby's chair.

BAD TRIO FTW! I sososo wanted to write a chapter with the three of them together. I. Love. Them. And it's funny because they're hiding from Grandpa Rome in his own office. **The next chapter will have more of them, I just really needed to update….. since I haven't in six months.**

All in all, this was my favorite chapter to write. Thanks for reviewing, please review more, as it feeds my ego and my imagination. Tell us what you think should happen next. We would really like to know what kind of random-assed shizz you have in your brain.

OOOOOOH! We were thinking of making little M rated oneshots of our pairings. Would you read them if we wrote them? I promise there'll be smut. =w= It'll be an after-hours kinda thing. Which title do you think would work best? **Axis Academy: After Hours** or **Axis Academy: Behind Closed Classrooms**?

Now I feel like I'm rambling. So… I'll go now. Asta la pasta~


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